You consider yourself a trustworthy friend, loyal and dependable. You try your best to be helpful and generous to the friends you make. You invest much time and effort in a friendship. You’re always around to listen. Because of this, you’re the person your friends run to during times of crisis. You eventually become the one individual who is always there to help.

But occasionally, you meet a friend who is incapable of reciprocating.

You may encounter someone who will only look for you when you’re needed. But when you’re the one in need, this friend will offer some convenient excuse not to be there.

There is always something more important than you. You are never a priority. And even when you’re together, your friend constantly insists on getting his way. You’re forced to follow whatever your friend wants and you give whatever he needs. Your wishes remain secondary.

Despite this, you continue to hope that this friend will realize how well you treat him and that he should give some time and effort back. But this friend never does. In the end, you eventually feel drained. And when your usefulness to this friend has run out, you may find yourself discarded and forgotten.


Frederick Fabella, PhD is a research director and a graduate and undergraduate professor in the Philippines. He is an editorial board member of the IRP international research journal and a Fellow of the Royal Institution Singapore. He is the author of Transcendence: Essays For Personal Reflection.


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